Tuesday, November 24, 200912:05 AM
So I should be finishing section of my research paper which is due tomorrow. It has to be about 2+ pages. I started @ 950ish. I've got a page and a half going on 2. I think I'm doing pretty well. I should win an award for procrastination.
So i know i've blogged in the past about all the guys i like and everything. But right now I think it's like forreal. Like i kind of realise all the guys i've liked, I never really liked them, I liked one aspect of them and it was really no more than petty crushes.
But with this kid it's different. For the first time I really actually feel it could work out. I actually think he likes me. I really do. I'm not going to blog too much about it because I feel like it always goes wrong after blogging about it. Idk with him I just don't worry about what to say, I just say it. Maybe it has to do with him being a freshman and I'm a sophomore. But still, with all the other guys I always felt like i was being obsessive or overly obvious, but I mean even if I may come off as that with him, it doesn't really matter with him.
Then again he could just be being really nice and I'm wasting my time, but to be honest, he makes me feel so good about myself that even if it doesn't amount to anything, i won't ever regret this.
Plus i don't always feel the need to constantly talk/ crack jokes around him, I'm thinking back to the convo we had earlier today and now that I remember, we barely talked to eachother. We just kind of stared at eachother smiling in a stairwell after school haha. He has the cutest smile and when he talks to me, i feel like he actually wants to talk to me, to know what I think.
I really want this to work. I'm tired of falling for the wrong guys, seeing my friends get guys with ease and have the option of rejecting guys, seeing them going out on dates and gushing about their men. I stand by their sides and help and advise them through it all from hooking a friend up to wiping up another friend's boyfriend's vomit off his clothing.
I put on this act of over-confidence because I read somewhere that guys like confidence, and i feel like if I act over-confidence it'll hide my various insecurities and abundance of shallowness.
It hasn't worked out for me before. Is it bad to want this now? I just hope he feels the same.
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Tuesday, November 17, 20092:23 AM
fyi: when I say today, I meant the 16th.
So why is it that I can't seem to be able to see the difference between a regular argument and flirting? My life is a joke seriously haha. I was talking to this guy in my PE/Health class and we were having an argument on why I should be allowed to play first base ( we're freaking
sophomores haha but we act like we're in 4th grade.) and he wasn't buying it haha and then later idr but I did not like run all the bases or something and he got so mad haha but he was kidding we both were the whole time lol like my friend was watching us argue and she was like hey
s be nice, and he was like dude are you serious I'm not like actually mad at her and blah blah. Then later he was like no I'll play first cas im better. and he like caught the ball and stuff and I was like good job and hes like
"you taking notes?" and I was like totally. I don't even know why I'm
attracted to him, cause he's kind of a jerk to me most of the time. Well today he was semi nice.
Ok I know that was extremely lame, but idk I just thought the whole thing was cute hah. I don't think he likes me at all and idk if that counts as flirting cas we did that for like all of gym. I remember @ one point when we were arguing he like stepped closer to me and said something trying to like make his point, but to be honest I wasn't even really listening because I was focused on the fact that
he stepped closer to me. He's like the starting qb of the football team too. Ugh. Why do I always fall for the uber popular athletic guys who are kinda smart not really and have a little posse.I hate to say it, but I really don't think it could happen. I'm trying to be optimistic like who knows, but in all reality idts. MLIA.
Labels: argue, caught, closer, cute, flirting, gym, haha, he, joke, lame, life, me, notes, s
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Sunday, November 8, 20099:21 AM
So I went a crazy ass party friday night. It ended after an hour andd I almost got arrested. I didn't get any though. Super funn, it was my first real hs party haha.
I got my braces off on wednesday. I feel like that party and getting my braces off in the same week was kind of like idk a transition into me growing up haha? idk how to explain it, but you know how most of the time you can't really tell when you're changing? For me right now, its so obvious. Lastnight i texted c. If you don't know him look @ older posts. But I've liked him since lastt year, and I'm sick of wondering how he feels, so I just asked him yesterday.
He only likes me a as a friend, but idc its all good. I moved on a long time ago.
Is it bad that I'm jealous of my friend who was kind of a wallflower last year, but now guys are staarting to notice shes pretty and cool and their goin in for the kill? I mean i was kind ofalways popularish, but noones tryin to get w/ me.
Labels: arrested, braces, c, crazy, fun, off, older, party, texted
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Saturday, October 31, 20096:53 PM
so it's halloween and I'm stuck inside on door duty. Can't go to the hottest halloween party because I don't have a ride. To make things even more awesome, my friends basically ditched me and I only found out because I called them to find out what we were doing and they told me they were going to some other party that one of my other friends invited them to and they hadn't bothered to call and let me know.
On top of all that, my sibs left me to go trick or treating so I don't even get any goddamn candy. wtf.
seriously if i have all these friends and I'm considered somewhat popular, why am I the one home on halloween passing out candy? Damn even my parents are going to a party.
My life is a joke. end of discussion.
Labels: candy, door, duty, friends, go, halloween, joke, life, out, party, ride, sucked
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Monday, October 19, 200911:27 PM
So I saw it on saturday and it was pretty amazing. I've already downloaded the soundtrack which is beast. Currently listening to it, too many boy troubles to even think about. To be quite honest, I'm pretty much in the friend zone w/ every guy i talk to.
Labels: amazing, beast, boy, download, fame, friend, guy, honest, pretty, saturday, soundtrack, zone
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Sunday, October 11, 20099:55 AM
well to put it bluntly, homecoming sucked.
im still annoyed about it.
my group was fun, but another girl had the same exact dress as me and she wore it better. at the dance, not one guy asked me to dance even though everyone was all omg you look soo pretty omgomgomgomg and shit like that.
i couldn't go to any after parties because it ended @ 11 and my dad was like omgz noway u gotta go home noww.
and the only guy who talked to me was this creepy kid i sit next to in spanish. he kept putting his arms around and me stuff and i was like no. he doesn't even like me too. he likes my friend, or so he says, and he wouldn't even talk to her. He talked to me instead. I think he likes me, but he won't admit that ever.
so yea my night sucked. mostly because I didn't get any hah.
ohya 69th post lmao hah.
Labels: '09, any, dance, dress, get, homecoming, night, omg, pretty, same, sucked
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Saturday, October 3, 20097:28 PM
So i discovered him yesterday and it was love at first sound/hearing/whatever you call it lmao. Anyway my favoritee song by him is "the saltwater room".
listen to itsuch a good song :) i always think about a certain guy when i hear it and i just feel like it could work and maybe someone out there feels the same way about me..
Labels: city, feel, guy, hear, him, love, me, owl, saltwater, songs
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